By Nicholas Akasula
It is one of the most unforgettable moments in human history. As Jesus hung on the cross, beaten, humiliated and in agony, He uttered words that continue to echo across centuries: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Amidst brutal injustice, He chose mercy over revenge. He did not curse His tormentors
The Bible contains many accounts of forgiveness. Joseph pardoned the brothers who sold him into slavery. In the parable of the Prodigal Son, a father runs to embrace a disobedient child. St Stephen, as stones rained down upon him, prayed for those taking his life. Yet for Christians, none surpasses Christ’s plea at Calvary. It stands as the clearest expression of grace in the face of cruelty.
That extraordinary example has shaped Christian teaching for two millennia and continues to influence how believers understand justice, reconciliation and healing. Forgiveness, central to the Christian message, is neither sentimental nor naïve. It is costly, deliberate and often deeply painful.
Defining forgiveness
At its simplest, forgiveness is the conscious decision to release resentment and the desire for revenge against someone who has caused harm. It does not deny wrongdoing or minimise suffering. Nor does it necessarily mean restoring trust or overlooking injustice. Rather, it is the refusal to allow bitterness to take control of you.
Psychologists describe forgiveness as a process rather than a single act. It begins with acknowledging the wound honestly. Suppressed pain rarely heals. The next step is choosing to relinquish anger and the impulse for revenge. Over time, the injured party may move towards empathy or, at the very least, a position of neutrality. Some also stress the importance of self-forgiveness, recognising that guilt and shame can be as corrosive as resentment.
Forgiveness, in this sense, is not weakness. It is strength exercised with restraint. It requires moral courage and emotional discipline.
Personal journey
Few Christian figures have spoken as openly about the challenge of forgiveness as American preacher Joyce Meyer. She has recounted enduring sexual abuse by her father from early childhood until her late teens. Leaving home as soon as she was able, she carried anger and unforgiveness for years.
In later life, she has described how studying Scripture reshaped her understanding. Forgiveness, she discovered, was not a single emotional breakthrough but a repeated decision. “It is rarely a one-time event,” she has said in public addresses. “You may need to forgive the same person many times, especially if the memories resurface.”
Her experience reflects a broader truth: forgiveness often precedes feeling. The heart may lag behind the will. Yet many who persevere report that, over time, emotions begin to align with their decision.
Managing anger and emotion
When wronged, the instinctive reaction is often to retaliate, withdraw or defend oneself aggressively. Anger can be intense and, at times, justified. Christian teaching does not deny this. However, it urges believers not to allow anger to become destructive.
The New Testament instruction in Matthew 5:44 says: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” remains among the most demanding ethical commands in Scripture. Praying for someone who has caused harm can feel unnatural. Yet those who practise it often speak of gradual change. The act of prayer, they suggest, softens hostility and opens space for healing.
Meyer once recounted learning that a business associate had been criticising her ministry. Her immediate reaction was anger and the desire for confrontation. Instead, she felt compelled to respond with kindness, sending a gift and expressing appreciation for his work. The decision, she later said, brought an unexpected sense of freedom.
Such stories underline a consistent theme: forgiveness may not alter the offender, but it transforms the offended.
Spiritual strength
Christian leaders frequently emphasise that forgiveness is not achieved through personal effort alone. Bishop Dag Heward-Mills, a Ghanaian evangelist, argues in his book Forgiveness Made Easy that believers should reflect carefully on the Lord’s Prayer. When praying, “Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” he advises inserting the name of a specific offender. The exercise, he suggests, tests the sincerity of one’s words.
Pastor Kulubya Emmanuel of Better Life Ministries in Kiteezi similarly speaks of forgiveness as a prayerful act. “We ask God to give us the strength to forgive and to remove the pain,” he says. The emphasis is on reliance upon divine grace rather than sheer determination.
The Apostle Paul’s words in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” are often cited in this context. Forgiveness, believers argue, becomes possible not because the hurt is small, but because God’s grace is greater.
The psychological dimension
Beyond theology, mental health professionals increasingly highlight the practical benefits of forgiveness. Dr Alison Cook, a psychotherapist author notes in one of her writings that unresolved anger can manifest in anxiety, depression and strained relationships.
“Forgiveness is primarily about your own healing. It does not excuse the offence, but it prevents the wound from defining your future.” Releasing resentment, she adds, can reduce emotional stress and improve overall well-being.
Research in psychology supports this view. Studies suggest that individuals who practise forgiveness experience lower levels of stress and improved emotional resilience. While faith provides one pathway, secular therapeutic approaches also encourage the release of long-held grievances.
Biblical foundations
For Christians, however, the strongest case for forgiveness rests on Scripture. The New Testament repeatedly calls believers to forgive as they themselves have been forgiven.
In Colossians 3:13, Paul writes: “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 urges kindness and compassion, mirroring God’s mercy. Matthew 6:14–15 links forgiving others with receiving forgiveness from God, a teaching that underscores its seriousness.
Perhaps most striking is the exchange recorded in Matthew 18:21–22. When Peter asks how many times he should forgive someone who repeatedly offends him, “up to seven times?”, Jesus replies, “seventy times seven.” The figure is symbolic, indicating that forgiveness is not to be rationed.
Romans 12:17–19 instructs believers not to repay evil with evil but to leave vengeance to God. Mark 11:25 advises forgiving others before prayer, ensuring a clear conscience. Throughout the New Testament, forgiveness is portrayed not as an optional virtue but as a defining mark of Christian identity.
Radical counter-culture
In contemporary society, where public discourse is often sharp and unforgiving, the Christian call to mercy can appear counter-cultural. Social media has amplified outrage, and grievances are sometimes rehearsed indefinitely. Against this backdrop, forgiveness remains a radical choice.
It does not mean abandoning justice. Courts, laws and accountability have their place. Forgiveness operates on a different plane: the personal decision not to be consumed by hatred.
The image of Christ praying for His executioners continues to challenge believers and sceptics alike. It represents a refusal to allow cruelty the final word. For Christians, that moment at Calvary is not simply an example but the foundation of their faith. They believe they have received forgiveness from God and are therefore called to extend it to others.
Forgiveness does not erase memory, nor does it remove consequences. Trust, once broken, may take time to rebuild. Yet those who embrace it speak of regained peace and restored relationships.
In the end, forgiveness is less about excusing the offender and more about liberating the offended. It is an act of courage that resists bitterness and chooses grace. In a fractured world, it remains one of the most powerful and transformative choices a person can make.
