By Pauline Akello
Christian dating, deeply rooted in faith and guided by divine principles, is a journey filled with invaluable lessons and transformative experiences. For two women, Joy Apio a fashion designer, and Able Arinaitwe, an aspiring business analyst, their past dating experiences have reshaped their understanding of love, commitment, and boundaries. Their candid reflections provide insight into the essence of honouring God in relationships.
Lessons learned from the past
Reflecting on their earlier experiences, both women acknowledged the influence of societal pressures and personal misconceptions. For Apio, her past views were heavily shaped by physical appearances and societal expectations. “I thought you had to be intimate to show love. Movies made it seem okay,” she admits. However, her perspective shifted when she embraced salvation. “God gives us the right person. It’s important to wait and not rush into relationships,” she says.
Arinaitwe shared a similar transformation. She had previously overlooked essential qualities such as kindness and patience, relying on surface-level traits. “You can’t know someone’s true character without asking God for guidance,” she reflected. Both women discovered that spiritual maturity and inner beauty far outweigh external attributes.
Faith, understanding love
Their faith journeys profoundly reshaped their views on love and commitment. “God’s love endures forever,” Apio emphasises, referencing Jeremiah 29:11, which reminds believers of God’s plans for them. Trusting God as the master planner, she now seeks His guidance before pursuing any relationship. “When someone approaches me, I ask God if they are the one,” she says.
Arinaitwe highlights the importance of aligning romantic decisions with God’s will. “Desires based on things like love languages may change, but God’s plan is constant. He knows what we truly need,” she notes.
For both women, establishing firm boundaries is non-negotiable. “No intimacy, no cohabiting, and he must be born again,” Apio says. She rejects the notion of changing someone after marriage, emphasising the need to enter relationships without compromising her values.
Arinaitwe agrees, adding that setting boundaries starts with fearing God. “When you fear God, you won’t cross certain lines. The consequences of joining yourself to the wrong person are far greater than we realise,” she said. Their shared commitment to purity and respect reflects their dedication to honouring God.
Honouring God in dating
Both women offered practical advice for those navigating Christian dating. “Lean not on your own understanding. Ask God if the person is right for you,” Apio says, drawing from Proverbs 3:5-6. She emphasises the importance of surrendering romantic decisions to God, trusting Him to lead to the right person.
Apio also underscores the value of examining a potential partner’s spiritual life, family background, and calling, as these are key indicators of compatibility in faith and purpose. She encourages Christians to pray for provision to avoid prolonged dating periods, citing Philippians 4:19: “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Waiting on God for guidance and provision can lead to clarity and peace in the dating process.
Arinaitwe stresses the need for intentionality in relationships, distinguishing between casual dating and purposeful courtship. “Dating should have a purpose. If you are not serious, remain friends until you are ready to commit,” she advises, aligning her perspective with 1 Corinthians 10:31: “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” She emphasises that relationships should honour God and reflect His principles of commitment and love.
For Arinaitwe, relationships should move towards engagement and marriage, with clear terms established from the outset. Amos 3:3 poses a thought-provoking question: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” This principle encourages couples to have open and honest discussions about their goals and values, ensuring alignment before proceeding.
Both women agreed that Christian dating should be a testimony of faith, grace, and love. Colossians 3:14, which says, “And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness,” serves as a reminder that love rooted in Christ is the foundation for a thriving relationship. Honouring God in dating not only brings blessings to the couple but also sets a powerful example for others.
Patience, faith
Both women acknowledged that waiting on God can be challenging but rewarding. “You may wait, but it will be worth it,” Apio affirmed. Their stories highlight the importance of patience, trust in God’s timing, and a focus on spiritual growth. Christian dating, as they emphasise, is not just about finding a partner but about aligning one’s journey with God’s purpose.
As these women continue their faith-filled journeys, their reflections inspire others to approach dating with intentionality, prayer, and a commitment to God’s principles.
