By Dickson Tumuramye
The question, “What legacy are we bequeathing to our sons as fathers?” resonated deeply with readers in last week’s column. Yet, in Uganda, many households are headed by single mothers. For these courageous women, raising boys into compassionate men, loving husbands, and responsible leaders is both a challenge and a unique opportunity.
Mothers everywhere do an incredible job of nurturing children, but single mothers, often facing extra hurdles, go the extra mile to ensure their sons grow into responsible men. Here are some practical insights for single mothers striving to leave a lasting impact.
Lead by living the values you hope to see
Boys learn most from the adults they spend the most time with. Model respect in everyday interactions, how you greet household members, converse with a boda boda rider, negotiate at the market, or discuss family matters on WhatsApp. Courteous language, punctuality, and keeping promises quietly teach your son what honourable manhood looks like.
Children imitate what they observe daily far more than what they hear in lectures. Good modelling leaves an enduring impression and sets the foundation for lifelong character.
Set clear expectations and household duties
Every meaningful training begins at home. Assign age-appropriate chores, such as sweeping the compound, peeling matooke, or ironing uniforms, and pair these tasks with clear consequences and praise. Responsibilities build competence and confidence, essential traits for responsible men and future leaders.
Create a chore chart on the fridge and review it regularly, perhaps every Friday during a “family review.” This helps boys connect effort with achievement and encourages them to take pride in their contributions.
Surround him with positive male role models
Children naturally seek father figures. No mother should feel she must “be the father.” Instead, curate a circle of supportive men—uncles, coaches, pastors, or teachers—who reflect the values you cherish. Community initiatives and mentorship programmes can offer invaluable guidance during free time, school holidays, or evenings. Exposure to good male role models reinforces your lessons at home.
Foster leadership opportunities early
Leadership is learned through experience. Encourage your son to manage a small stall during school holidays, chair a debate club, captain a football team, or take on school or church responsibilities. When he loses a leadership role, coach him on gracious concession and refining his approach. These lessons in resilience and persistence will serve him well in adulthood.
Teach emotional intelligence and respect for women
Many cultures urge boys to “toughen up,” but it is essential to allow emotions, identify feelings, and discuss appropriate responses. Use news stories on gender-based violence as discussion points: “What would a real gentleman do differently?”
Regular conversations about consent, dignity, and empathy help boys reject harmful social norms. Model respect in your interactions, and share examples of positive male behavior from their father or other role models, reinforcing that caring for women is a hallmark of true manhood.
Cultivate financial literacy and responsibility
Responsibility is nurtured through practical experience. Open a junior savings account or a “Mama & Me” mobile money wallet. Let him manage a weekly allowance, track family spending, and save for desired items. Financial stewardship equips him for the demands of adulthood, marriage, and leadership.
Invest in your own support and self-care
Leadership begins with a healthy leader, you. Join single-parent support groups, schedule personal rest, share childcare with trusted relatives, and seek counselling when needed. A replenished, resilient mother inspires her son to adopt similar habits for himself, his future family, and society.
A legacy within reach
Single motherhood does not determine a son’s destiny—intentionality does. By living the values you want him to embody, reinforcing discipline with warmth, and leveraging community mentorship, you plant seeds of integrity, empathy, and courage. Years from now, when your son holds his own child, he will remember the mother who showed him, day after day, how real men lead and love.
Your home is the first leadership academy he will ever attend. Schools can teach a lot, but character begins at home. Make every lesson count.
The writer is Executive Director of Hope Regeneration Africa, a parenting coach, marriage counsellor, and founder of the Men of Purpose mentorship programme.
tumudickson@gmail.com
